Top 3 Funniest Love Declarations in Books

Howdy, everyone! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while, but I’m working on several projects at a time. I must say, building a multilingual career as an author is unexpectedly exhausting, and the rewards are slow to come, especially during these times.

As always, reading is what helps me stay sane, and last night I got the idea for this post while I was re-reading Nora Roberts’s “Angels Fall”, a book I particularly enjoy. The excerpt I’ll reveal below made me laugh out loud, as it does every time. The story’s main characters are Reece – a troubled woman who’s trying to escape some deep traumas, and Brody – a man who’s apparently an unfeeling jerk, but who develops a soft spot for the heroine in which many women will find themselves.

Unlike the typical, syrupy love stories, their romance is more interesting and unusual. So, without further ado, here is my Top Three Funniest Love Declarations in Books:

Love you worse 2

#3 is a scene from the very Queen of Comedy, Janet Evanovich and her well-known screw-up heroine, Stephanie Plum, forever torn between the love of two men, Ranger and Joe Morelli:

“How could you be tired? It’s eight o’clock. It’s time to get up! I’m leaving. Don’t you want to kiss me good-bye?”

Nothing. No answer. I whipped the sheet off him and left him lying there in all his glorious nakedness. Morelli still didn’t move.

I sat on the bed next to him. “Joe?”

“I thought you were going to work.”

“You’re looking very sexy . . . except for Mr. Happy, who seems to be sleepy.”

“He’s not sleepy, Steph. He’s in a coma. You woke him up every two hours and now he’s dead.”

“He’s dead?”

“Okay, not dead, but he’s not going to be up and dancing anytime soon. You might as well go to work. Did you walk Bob?”

“I walked Bob. I fed Bob. I cleaned the living room and the kitchen.”

“Love you,” Morelli said from under the pillow.

“I l-l-l-like you, too.” Shit.

 ~Eleven On Top, JANET EVANOVICH

 

#2 presents Claire and Jamie Fraser, the famous characters from “OUTLANDER”, the equally famous odyssey written by Diana Gabaldon, which has inspired Starz to create the TV series with the same name. This is when Claire first declares her love to her new husband:

“Oh, Jamie, I do love you!”

This time it was his turn to laugh. He doubled over, then sat down at the roadside, fizzing with mirth. He slowly fell over backward and lay in the long grass, wheezing and choking.

“What on earth is the matter with you?” I demanded, staring at him. At long last, he sat up, wiping his streaming eyes. He shook his head, gasping.

“Murtagh was right about women. Sassenach, I risked my life for ye, committing theft, arson, assault, and murder into the bargain. In return for which ye call me names, insult my manhood, kick me in the ballocks and claw my face. Then I beat you half to death and tell ye all the most humiliating things have ever happened to me, and you say ye love me.” He laid his head on his knees and laughed some more. Finally he rose and held out a hand to me, wiping his eyes with the other.

“You’re not verra sensible, Sassenach, but I like ye fine. Let’s go.”

~Outlander, DIANA GABALDON~

 

And now…

Periods love

#1, the excerpt that has started this post, and one of the many reasons I love Nora Roberts’s books, full of edgy humor, among other things:

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

She heard absolutely nothing for ten full seconds. And when he did speak, she caught the faintest trace of fear mixed in with the annoyance.

“Hell. No good deed goes unpunished.”

She laughed, rich and full and long. And the warmth of it soothed her raw throat, her raw nerves. “And that’s why, I must be out of my mind. Don’t worry about it, Brody.”

~Angels Fall, NORA ROBERTS~

 

And speaking of romance and fun, do check The Authors’ Billboard new release, Summer Shorts!

From sweet to spicy, and contemporary to suspenseful, these sixteen Summer Short Stories will be sure to heat up your heart and help you escape reality in a blaze of fun, drama, and romance.
Sixteen NY Times & USA Today popular authors have put together these delightful novellas to give you that spurt of entertainment you can often finish in one sitting. These Summertime stories will delight the romance lover until the sun sets in a blaze of glory.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and if it put a smile on your face, as it was intended, feel free to share the fun! And don’t forget to enter our monthly home page contest! 😉

At Home by Mona Risk

Is it four weeks or six weeks that we have been locked at home? I can’t remember, but it seems like two years. Getting dressed, wearing a few pieces of jewelry, and fixing my hair are now nice memories. I stopped opening my closets. What for? My getting-dressed routine of the morning consists of choosing between two pajamas pants and a few black t-shirts–easier to wash it all together.

We live in a high-rise and we used to have a gorgeous view. Not anymore. In September, our building association had contracted a company for concrete restoration. So all balconies were blocked in September, the rails removed and the balconies’ floors repaired. And then the Pandemic started and the workers stopped coming. No rails, no balconies. No beach and no pool.

Who cares? For every problem, there’s a solution. Right?

Two weeks ago, I discovered that the catwalk, a walkway around the building used as an emergency exit, was still accessible, yet not used by anyone. A bit too high for my taste considering I suffer from ‘Acrophobia’ or irrational fear of heights. But in time of need, one would adjust to anything. At first I held my husband’s hand, and just looked at the floor, and then it got better…

The walkway became my walking track, with fresh outdoor air to breathe, no need to wear a mask, and a view to lift any mood. So now I walk four to five miles a day. Soon I’ll stop worrying about the extra weight I added at the beginning of our confinement. And I published a book, and started a new one.

Here is my new book, just released last week:

A Dance for Prince Eric: A ballerina with a promising career on the run for her brother’s sake. A charismatic prince who saved them both. Do fairytales exist?

I am also happy to share two new boxes, one with hilarious books and another with tender, emotional stories.

Sweet & Sassy Daddies

US: https://amzn.to/3bBBMGg #ad

UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B084FJFCFB

CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B084FJFCFB

AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B084FJFCFB

IN: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B084FJFCFB

NL: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/B084FJFCFB

DE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B084FJFCFB

Cute but Crazy

US: http://bit.ly/RomComCBC1
Universal: https://books2read.com/CBC1

On Shutdown

As of today Florida is on shutdown. The police is enforcing the order, Beaches Are Closed. An order that the young population on Springbreak looked at with incredulous snorts and simply ignored. Well today, police cars are bloking all accesses to the beach and the high rises locked their doors leading to the beach. Under a glorious sun, a gentle breeze and a perfect weather, the beaches look like deserted islands now.

Spring break in Fort Lauderdale

In the supermarkets, people amble around empty shelves, wondering if they could find something more to stock. Most of the restaurants are closed. Today Florida churches received the order to close too. We were advised not to ride the elevator wih other people!

So what do we do? We watch TV, read, and try to keep busy. I have been editing two books and I am plotting a new one. I am sure you will be thrilled to know we can offer you several boxes of books to keep you entertained.

DOCTORS IN LOVE-Passionate and Dedicated

DOCTORS IN LOVE- Sexy and Determined
CUTE BUT CRAZY
SWEET AND SASSY DADDIES

Pandemic Pollyanna

With all the scary news stories spreading faster than the actual Corona Virus pandemic, I think it’s time to play The Glad Game. It was created by one of my Favorite Fabulous Females of Fiction, Pollyanna. The premise is simple: look for the good in every bad situation.
As Pollyanna said, “When you look for the bad, expecting it, you will get it.” So, let’s search out bright spots!
What are the two suggestions to keep healthy? Hand washing and social distancing. Cool! I have loads of fancy sweet-smelling soaps (a passion of mine: read Naked in the Winter Wind, a perma-free novel) and now I can share a few bars with friends without feeling like I’m suggesting they stink.
Social distancing: lots of schools and gathering places are shut down and events canceled here. What about your area? I believe that’s just a reason to read more (or maybe write more). My daughter’s wedding was canceled when the venue called her and said they were shutting down until further notice. Her glad: she still had her fiance’.
If you’re not sick, remember to be grateful. Or to paraphrase Pollyanna, ‘There’s your glad!’
The moral of the story: Accentuate the positive! But still, wash your hands. You want to spread optimism, not germs.

An eye-opening way to spend those hours of social distancing: reading about this Mama and her triplet chicks! No news updates guaranteed! Read the first four stories of my new series, TRIPLETS: THREE AREN’T ONE, only available in these sets. (The fifth story is still in process)

Invincible Secrets and THE SET UP. Where it all begins: with Mama. Learn Grace’s secret and how she tries to deal with it. Gritty women’s fiction.

All That Glitters: Glitz, Glam, and Billionaires. Come live the life of the privileged in this set of stories about movie stars, princes, and billionaires. This is where you’ll find the story of Vickie in DIAMONDS AREN’T FOR EVERYONE.

Doctors in Love 2: Sexy and Determined. Brought up by a father who ran a non-profit mobile medical clinic, Ria’s healing skills were evident at an early age. Could she mend a wounded heart? THAT MAGIC TOUCH, one of seven stories about healers helping others.

Cute But Crazy – Wacky, Wonderful Women. Once you’ve read about Mama and the first two triplets, you’ll be ready for Tori in HOW LOVE GROWS. Her imaginary friends just might be real, but will the young pot grower who came to help Papa on the marijuana grow site believe her or think she’s CUTE BUT CRAZY? – The Authors’ Billboard first Romantic Comedy set. Preorder now. Read in two days (March 20).