Old Age

I read this and laughed. You may enjoy it too even if you’re not that old.

“I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
  Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is… ” I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it”.
I don’t have gray hair… I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. Old age is coming at a really bad time.
At my age “Getting Lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering… did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?”

Join New Cranky Old Women if you love to laugh.” 

Relax with a sweet and sassy romance novel: SAILING AWAY PLANS

“A great love story and a second chance at a new life. It is a very good read and I definitely recommend it.”

A contemporary romance, realistic, sexy, and emotional.
Widower, empty-nester, and successful surgeon, Dr. Steve Winston is fed up with his routine work and announces he’s quitting his Cincinnati clinic, moving to live on a boat, and starting a new health center on a Caribbean island.
Dedicated to her patients, Nurse Lillian Haynes never stops doing odd jobs for Dr. Winston. His decision to resign breaks her heart. No amount of money will convince her to take care of his pets anymore, but when he invites her out to dinner, she agrees and polishes her appearance in hopes of being noticed by the man she’s secretly loved for ages.
Delighted to discover what a stunning woman she becomes once she’s shed her boring uniform, Steve shares his dreams with Lillian and tries to convince her to accompany him to his island—until her son and his children rush into town to protect their father from his own craziness.
Sailing Away Plans is book 1 of the Love Plans Series.