Allowing Others to Love You #RachelleAyala @mimisgang1 #mgtab

Or letting love happen this Valentine’s Day …

Photo by Анна Хазова

Valentine’s Day is a day of celebrating romantic love, and that’s exactly what we romance writers do best. We are in love with love, and we want all our characters as well as friends and family and even strangers to find love.

Funny thing though, love is sometimes an elusive being when you go out to find it. Is it hiding underneath a rock? Or could it be lurking in the pages of a book? How about it’s gone on a long vacation with no itinerary of returning? Maybe it’s staring you in the face and you’re not seeing it!

This is exactly what happens to many of my heroes and heroines, as well as friends and even myself in real life. Most of my romances, especially the friends to lovers, or even the enemies to lovers stories have this theme. Two people may be insanely attracted to each other but they have all sorts of reasons why this person is absolutely the wrong person for them. My job as the writer is to go behind the character’s doubts and insecurities and figure out fun and exciting scenarios for my hero and heroine to get past their roadblocks to love.

In most cases, the issue isn’t that they’re not lovable. Or that they don’t want love, no matter how loudly they deny that’s the case, but that they’re afraid to be vulnerable. That they make it difficult to let others love them. There are barriers and walls that might be built from past traumas or simply distrust that others have their best interests in mind. Perhaps deep inside, they don’t feel they deserve love.

Our characters are a lot like us. Or maybe I’m just speaking for myself. A common theme in my romances are characters who feel like they don’t belong or are hard on themselves and distrustful of people’s motives. They push those away who try to get close and struggle to accept love and affection, or even small favors that their friends want to do for them.

You know the type. If someone asks if they need anything, they’re always “fine.” They’re cheerful to help another but can fathom sitting back and letting others shower them with affection.

Here are some steps to help you start allowing others to love you:

  1. Acknowledge your fear.

Many of our issues stem from fear. We can start by acknowledging the fear that’s holding us back. This fear could stem from past hurt and disappointment, or it could be a general fear of vulnerability and intimacy. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing your fear and either write it down in a journal or talk about it with a friend. It might be hard to admit it but knowing yourself is the first step.

  1. Realize your worth.

Self-love is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If you don’t love yourself, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to fully accept love from others. That’s because you don’t feel worthy of love. Realize that you are worthy and figure out the things that make you happy. Don’t worry so much about how you look to others. Surround yourself with positive people, do things you’re interested in, and speak kindly to yourself. Most of all, if you have faith in God, you know that you are so worthy that he gave the ultimate sacrifice to redeem your soul. He loves you unconditionally and entirely in perfect love.

  1. Learn to trust others.

If you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be difficult to trust others again. However, trust is an essential component of healthy relationships. Start small by opening up to people you already trust and gradually building up to those you’re less familiar with. Trusting isn’t blind, however, and therefore you need to always be discerning and prayerful about letting someone into your life. Give it time and go for the slow burn. As you become more discerning and yet open to new experiences you will trust your own judgment and intuition better and avoid being hurt.

  1. Be open and honest.

One of the biggest reasons why we struggle to accept love from others is because we’re not open and honest about our needs and feelings. When we keep our feelings bottled up, it can be difficult for others to understand what we need from them. We’re always telling our friends we’re fine and ignoring what’s bothering us. We want to go it alone and not ask for help. I’m not saying to be needy or clinging, but being honest about your feelings and needs goes a long way toward building a loving relationship with another human being.

  1. Be patient.

Allowing others to love you takes time and patience. It’s not something that happens overnight, and there will likely be bumps along the way. Be patient with yourself and others, and remember that the journey is just as important as the destination. It’s no wonder that 1 Corinthians 13 starts with: Love is patient, love is kind.

Did you find any of these steps helpful? My wish for you is that you are loved not only on Valentine’s Day but every day of the year. As a writer of over 80 romance novels and stories, I’m always conjuring up new ways for my characters to fall in love. Some are sweet and cute and others are out of this world. So have a Happy Valentine’s Day, and if you like, pick up Red Hexed: Ruby, on sale for 99c – an unlikely love story between a Viking sword-bearer bent on stopping Ragnarok and a modern-day beauty queen who was burned on half of her face.

Red Hexed: Ruby

FALLING IN LOVE by @PatriceWilton

No matter your age, finding yourself in love with a new person you’ve met or the same person you’ve been married to for fifty wonderful years—it’s an amazing, wonderful, uplifting and life changing event. Perhaps the most important of all. You love your children, your family, the beach, travel, writing, reading and a thousand other very satisfying ways to restore your soul and bring joy to your life, but doing it alone is just not the same as with someone you deeply love.


I’m in my seventies and have lost two very special people, my son and my last partner of seventeen years, and trust me being on your own weighs on you. Sure, we have friends and people who care about you as you do them, but nothing makes your heart sing again until you run into that one person who lights you up inside.

I’m a romantic at heart, and I know a great many wonderful people who are. Like romance novelists who write about couples that have known heartache and loss. It takes a special someone to help them open their hearts once again and find hope and to trust in love, and joy without fear.

The wonderful group of women who are partners in the Author Billboard know all this and create believable characters and circumstances that will sweep you away with emotion and healthy endorphins—that thrilling, alive feeling in your heart, and perhaps make you believe once again.

What is life without hope and love?

Here are some of our wonderful, heart stirring stories to lift your spirits and open your eyes and heart to accept love in your life again. I pray it does.

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Find all 29 Boxed Sets, each filled to the brim with romance, love, and happily-ever-afters!

A Walk Down Memory Lane- #Anniversary #Romance @jacqbiggar #mgtab

Photo by George Dolgikh @ on

DH and I have been together for forty years- hard to believe!

We met July 9, 1982, on his eighteenth birthday. It was also our high school’s graduation party. There was a huge after-dance party out at a friend’s farm with at least half of the grads attending. So many people, loud music, alcohol (the parents at the farm took the keys of everyone attending for safekeeping), and a bonfire at least ten feet high- in a word, chaotic.

All of that, yet the moment we bumped into each other it was as though no one else was there. Corny, I know, but true.

We spent every available minute together for the next six months, then moved into a tiny little holiday trailer on his oldest sister’s land ( he’s the baby out of six kids) until we could afford something better.

Here’s a couple of photos from the early days:

Me at the Edmonton, Alberta Museum and DH with my little brother, Michael. (I’m the oldest of three).

Two years later, on June 16th, 1984 we were married under a beautiful blue sky with puffy white clouds.

And four years after that, we became parents of a beautiful baby girl.

If you think I look scared, you’re right! lol

We’ve had many ups and downs during our marriage, but one thing remains true- we loved each other then, and we love each other now.

Today, we plan to visit the beach and generally spend the day together. We may be older, but the romance is still there 🙂

My Top 5 Best Movie Kisses 💋

Hi everyone! I hope your week is going well, although that’s more and more difficult to say these days. Since I figured we all need a break from news and politics, today I want to share with you my favorite kissing scenes in movies. It was very difficult to make a Top 5 because I love all of these movies, but here it goes:

5. Vivian and Edward in Pretty Woman

This movie has a simple plot, yet the characters and the dialogue are so witty and beautiful it became an instant classic, inspiring many stories throughout the years. Edward and Vivian are two jaded people who stopped believing in love. No kiss has ever been as magic as the one they share to express the revelation of their love.

4. Baby and Johnny in Dirty Dancing

I adore this movie, even though it’s the same age I am. I must have seen it a couple dozen times at least, and never get tired of it. If you remember, there hasn’t been much kissing in it, which makes it even more memorable when Baby and Johnny finally show us a proper smooch!

3. Bridget and Mark in Bridget Jones’s Diary

I don’t know if there’s anyone on the planet that doesn’t know the famous story of Bridget Jones, a typical singleton who manages to be awkward, sexy, clumsy and witty at the same time. While Bridget is probably one of the most relatable female characters in modern literature, we can’t say the same about the classy Mr. Darcy, which is rara avis indeed. Yet Bridget manages to win his heart. How can we not be a little jealous on Renée Zellweger  for getting to kiss the amazing Colin Firth?

2. Claire and Jamie in Outlander

I discovered and fell in love with Diana Gabaldon’s books long before Starz made a TV series based on them. While I was reluctant regarding the TV series at first, I have to admit the actors playing Claire and Jamie are incredible, and the chemistry between them is sizzling. There are plenty of kissy scenes in the show, but my favorite is still the one from their wedding night.

Aaannnddd… drum rolls, please!

1. Morticia and Gomez in The Addams Family

I’ve been obsessed with the family created by cartoonist Charles Addams ever since I was a kid. I supposed it’s because I can relate to their unconventional habits, weird sense of humor and overall quirkiness. But what I admired the most was the passionate love story between Morticia and Gomez – one of those love stories you know are going to last forever. They deserve to be #1! 💋

I very much hope you enjoyed this post and if you did, please share it with your friends to brighten their weekend. And even though this is what kissing looks like these days, it’s moments like these that last forever.

Stay safe and healthy!