Tag Archives: Humor

Are You a Book-a-holic? That’s right.

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pile of books My hair’s a mess and I’m still in my robe at 4:30 in the afternoon. I have dark circles under my eyes and around my arm pits. I’m surrounded by a guilty mountain of discarded candy wrappers and a pill-inducing Mount Everest pile of …

books.

That’s right– I’m a book-a-holic.

Lest you think my affliction is limited to the luscious inky smell of the print version of the seductive objects, not exactly.

I have two kindles, an iPad, an iPad mini and a Nook reader. I’m seriously considering buying a KOBO reader, but I would need to stop reading long enough to get my credit card, type in all that delivery information to order the thing.

That’s right–

It’s a serious affliction. And I love it.

Books are like my air. I breathe to read—wait—no—that’s not right. I live to read and I read to breathe. No. That’s not right either…

Whatever. You get the picture. It’s in a book.

That’s right–

I’m seriously crazy—about books.

The thing is—no one knows about my affliction. I hide it.

If someone’s comes over, I’ll dress. Comb my hair. Hide my book in my blouse.

If I go out, I read on my phone. Pretend I’m texting. I wear a hat and a long coat with deep book-filled pockets. It gets hot in the summer, but whatever. I keep my secret.

No one knows I chain read.

That’s right–

My basement is filled with old books and I built an addition to the garage out back to store them. I’m running out of GBs on my hard drive and I’ve taken to the cloud where I have a commercial storage package.

If Amazon had a VIP high roller club, I’d be a platinum member.

That’s right–

Amazon knows my name.

What are you reading?

That’s right–

I want to know what book you’re reading. Tell me. There could be a prize bribe not a thing reply to you…

Or, that’s right–a book.

A shiny new one: THE BIG PUCK – a grumpy single dad saved by the nanny hockey rom-com book-a-holic

Smile, darn ya, SMILE!

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Let’s see if you can resist smiling…

I think the world has forgotten how to laugh. Let’s see if I can get a smile or two out of these trivia facts:
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I’m still not over the pig.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home . What the…?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig …quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.) A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (A southpaw from the Far North.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts.

Look for the bad guys and laugh at the same time!

FUN, clean, cozy mystery box set. Great diversion to stimulate the brain and lift the spirit at the same time. Check out these four NEW stories by Mimi Barbour, Denise Devine, Dani Haviland, and Nancy Radke. MURDER IS TO DIE FOR: DIEHARD DAMES Cozy Mystery Set. Only 99cents of Free to Read with Kindle Unlimited.

Get out! Perfect heroes who cook? 🥘🦐

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Hello, friends!

I’ll start this post with a fun fact: did you know that today is National Men-Make-Dinner Day? Yep, you read that right! Today is the perfect excuse to get your man cooking, and although the rules say that no BBQ is allowed, I say you should take what you can get. 😉

I am lucky and blessed that my husband actually enjoys cooking, and in the little free time he has, he spoils me with dishes from great chefs like Gordon Ramsay. I don’t even care if he makes a little mess, if I get a delicious dinner (but he does clean up afterward!).

I know what you must be thinking: some guys sound too good to be true, right? Well, it’s not like us, women, are perfect, so I figure men are allowed to get away with a few flaws here and there. Even in fiction.

But if you do like romance with heroes that are too good to be true, I have a treat for you this weekend. My romantic comedy, Unabridged, is FREE! So if you’re in the mood for some romance, steam, and lots of laughter, take advantage of this limited offer and grab your copy from Amazon.

Whoever thought Cinderella had it easy didn’t stick around for the alternate ending…

Everyone believed I was an idiot to leave Blade Spencer—rich, handsome, and head-over-heels in love with me. But I did it for his own good, determined to take the secret to my grave.

I moved to Seattle, pursued my career as a journalist at Unabridged magazine, and almost convinced myself I didn’t need a man. I had enough virtual admirers, and my email was jam-packed with marriage proposals and X-rated pictures—not to mention hysterically funny letters from a clever fan.

Imagine my surprise when I show up at work, and Blade is my new boss. Did I mention he has no idea why I left him and thinks I’m a cold-hearted bitch?

Just as I decide to prove him wrong, I discover Blade’s life has changed in ways I never imagined. Having to work with him is the least of our problems…

 

If you prefer audiobooks, you can find Unabridged on many retailers, including SCRIBD, audiobooks.com, Kobo, etc.

Here’s a sample for your enjoyment! Click to play: 

Fondly,

 

 

 

 

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO ROMANCE?

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Today’s Reading

by Stephanie Queen

Don’t ask me. So you binge read romance books. So what? I’m right there with you. You say you’ve been accused of being addicted to romance books? Don’t worry–it’s them, not you.

I looked into it (not that I’m worried) and here’s what I found out.

For All the Romance Binge Readers

According to an article on Women.com, though the addiction label is being tossed around carelessly by some advice gurus, experts Dr. Amy Muise and Dr. Bjarne Holmes state that “just because something is pleasurable (and releases pleasure chemicals in the brain) does not necessarily mean it is addictive – despite what any “Guru” might claim.”

I think Dr. Amy is right. We deserve to indulge and enjoy our books. Although it’s possible, in a very few cases, just maybe, some readers go too far.

What’s too far you ask?
The Top 5 Hints You May Be Addicted to Reading Romance:

 

  1. You call your husband/significant other Rafe in bed. His name is Ralph.
  2. You waited for two hours before Barnes & Noble opened to be the first in line to get the new release from E.L. James. There was no line.
  3. You got a second job so you could afford to buy every one of the top 100 romances on Amazon’s list. Your second job is at a book store.
  4. You argued for five hours driving in a car with your sister over whether enemies-to-lovers is a better trope than friends-to-lovers. You were on your way to a Nora Roberts book signing.
  5. You pull your back out carrying your stack of books from the car to your house after your visit to the library. It was your third visit this week.

Never mind the list, you’re fine. But in case you need something to read, something that will last a while–like maybe a whole day–there’s this new box set…

Available on Amazon. Read for FREE on Kindle Unlimited. Thank me later.

BMOC Box Set

P.S. The winner of the argument is Enemies-to-Lovers of course!

What do you think? Enemies 2 Lovers or Friends 2 Lovers?