Smile, darn ya, SMILE!

Let’s see if you can resist smiling…

I think the world has forgotten how to laugh. Let’s see if I can get a smile or two out of these trivia facts:
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I’m still not over the pig.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home . What the…?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig …quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.) A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (A southpaw from the Far North.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts.

Look for the bad guys and laugh at the same time!

FUN, clean, cozy mystery box set. Great diversion to stimulate the brain and lift the spirit at the same time. Check out these four NEW stories by Mimi Barbour, Denise Devine, Dani Haviland, and Nancy Radke. MURDER IS TO DIE FOR: DIEHARD DAMES Cozy Mystery Set. Only 99cents of Free to Read with Kindle Unlimited.

Humorous Lessons from Home-schooling

Do you recognize any of these Words of Wisdom? Whether you’re sixteen or sixty, these HOME-SCHOOLED lessons are still heard today, a generational gift from ages past. Here are some of the topics and their one or two-sentence lessons.

1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me”

6. FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. The science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. CONTORTIONISM.
“Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”

13. The CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”

14. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”

18. MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. ESP (Extra-Sensory Perception)
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. ROOTS (Ancestry).
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.

25. JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

If you’d like more humor, check out these sets, including the latest CUTE BUT CRAZY: UNIQUE AND UNPREDICTABLE. NINE fresh Romantic-Comedies by some of your favorite Authors’ Billboard ladies (including me. Wink, wink).