Old Age

I read this and laughed. You may enjoy it too even if you’re not that old.

“I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
  Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is… ” I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it”.
I don’t have gray hair… I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. Old age is coming at a really bad time.
At my age “Getting Lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering… did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?”

Join New Cranky Old Women if you love to laugh.” 

Relax with a sweet and sassy romance novel: SAILING AWAY PLANS

“A great love story and a second chance at a new life. It is a very good read and I definitely recommend it.”

A contemporary romance, realistic, sexy, and emotional.
Widower, empty-nester, and successful surgeon, Dr. Steve Winston is fed up with his routine work and announces he’s quitting his Cincinnati clinic, moving to live on a boat, and starting a new health center on a Caribbean island.
Dedicated to her patients, Nurse Lillian Haynes never stops doing odd jobs for Dr. Winston. His decision to resign breaks her heart. No amount of money will convince her to take care of his pets anymore, but when he invites her out to dinner, she agrees and polishes her appearance in hopes of being noticed by the man she’s secretly loved for ages.
Delighted to discover what a stunning woman she becomes once she’s shed her boring uniform, Steve shares his dreams with Lillian and tries to convince her to accompany him to his island—until her son and his children rush into town to protect their father from his own craziness.
Sailing Away Plans is book 1 of the Love Plans Series.

Chill Out in the Garden!

April 11, 2022, Willamette Valley, Oregon (my yard)

In the northern hemisphere, it’s springtime! Or, depending on where you are, summer! Here in Oregon, USA, we’ve had a very long winter. We had snow on April 11 and only last week, there was frost on the windshield in the morning. It looks like I won’t be getting any cherries, plums, or peaches this year. The apples and pears bloomed late, so we may be okay there.

Gardening is great exercise!

What does the warm weather mean to you? To me, it’s gardening season. That also means I need to get in shape. Here’s a chart that should make you happy about spending time weeding and trimming. Need a butt lift? Move loads of soil or compost around!
Before you commit to your garden project, be sure to have your gear. Plenty of water to drink, a hat, sunscreen, gloves, and of course, a camera to take before and after pictures. Stretch all those muscles first, too. I have a five-gallon bucket with a swivel seat on it that holds my tools. Very nice to have portable accommodations. I never have been a fan of the kneeling pads but my chair/toolbox combo with a handle is great.


MOST IMPORTANT: Audio gear! For me, it’s my Echo frames. Not only do they hold the lenses that help me see, these also have little speakers above the ears and a mic somewhere in front. Since they’re linked with my smartphone, phone calls come through, too. Gloved hands are dexterous enough to tap the right temple, and it’s answered. Need tunes? I tell Alexa, “Shuffle music by Led Zeppelin” or Leonard Bernstein, depending on my mood. I wear scrubs so the phone’s nearby in a big pocket.

Tunes are good, but my go-to request while working and always while driving is, “Alexa, read my book.” Whatever book I’ve been reading on my Kindle device, continues. It DOES NOT have to be an AUDIBLE book, either. Alexa’s voice is pretty cool and way better than the first generation of book readers.

Any story that is ‘Text-to-Speech: Enabled’ on Amazon will work on your Echo. You can do so much more work when you’re listening, waiting for an exciting scene to finish. Even when I’m spent and finally go inside, the story follows me. No Echo frames? Any Kindle or Echo device will keep up with your place in the story. Just ask, “Alexa, read my book.” Smart stuff is awesome!

MURDER IS TO DIE FOR: Diehard Dames Amateur Detective Series

Looking for a long read to listen to for the road or a special project, check out MURDER IS TO DIE FOR. This cozy mystery set won’t make you blush (it’s not spicy) but will keep you intrigued.

Knocking on Heaven’s door

KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR

Dear friends,

I hope all of you are doing well and hanging in there through these rough, crazy times.
Personally, I am going through the worst time of my life, having lost my dad on May 8th to lung cancer. I’ve always sympathized with people who fight this horrible disease every second, helped and donated whenever I could, but living it alongside my father was more heartbreaking than I could put into words. You never really know how awful cancer is until it happens to you or a loved one.
My dad was always a fighter and he battled the illness until the very last second. He always said it wasn’t the result of the battle that mattered, it was the beauty of the fight. I don’t feel that he’s lost the fight with cancer, I feel that he’s earned the right to walk in a better place, where there is no illness, pain, death or suffering.

Just the week before he passed away he officially became a published author himself – a dream he’s had for a long time. I’d like to think I inherited his talent with words, and he was especially proud of me being the only Romanian writer who’s a USA Today bestselling author and a RONE award winner.
After Killer Score won a RONE award in 2021, I didn’t imagine it was on such a rough occasion that I would share with you the news that another one of my books, Silent Strike, is nominated for a RONE award this year. Maybe you guys can help me feel more excited about it.
In order for the book to reach the judging round, it needs to get readers’ votes first. As you can imagine, promoting my book and asking for votes is the last thing I want to do right now, while grieving for my father. But being a writer is like any other job: you just have to do it, no matter what problems you have at home or how shattered your heart is from losing a loved one.
So here I am, thanking again to all of you who voted last year, and asking you to please vote for Silent Strike. If you have an account on indtale.com, you already know the process: log in, go to RONES/CONTESTS, then 2022 RONE AWARD READER VOTING, scroll down to Week 6, click Suspense/Thriller: Steamy and then select Silent Strike by Melinda Colt, and press the Vote button.
For those of you who don’t have an account, I made a few slides to help you through the process:

Access indtale.com from your browser.

I thank you all so much in advance for your votes, time and support. Any shares of this email are much appreciated, and may your kindness and patience return back to you a hundred times stronger!
I wish you and your families stay healthy, happy, and strong.
THANK YOU! ❤

Fondly,
Melinda

THE WOES OF WRITER’S BLOCK by @PatriceWilton

I’m sure that even readers have heard of Writer’s Block — which means the writer is stuck in a wheel, spinning ideas in their heads but not on paper. It happens to the best of us; even Stephen King has experienced this dreaded circumstance where you sit at your desk ready to deliver magic on page, but you don’t have the energy, the drive, or your imagination has taken a road trip somewhere and you’re all alone—fingers eager to start pounding the keys with not a thought in your head.

Writer's Block

Yes, it can be that bad. I normally get excited to start a fresh book or series. Usually as I’m finishing one book, I already have ideas for the next. That was a few years back, now I have to work on it to decide who, what, where, why, the basics you need to know before writing the first word.

Writer’s Block Bursts Creative Bubbles

Most often I know the characters, the location, the conflict, the beginning and ending but not much more. I’m a pantser (write by the seat of my pants) not a plotter and that’s never been a problem for me or a million other successful writers. It starts out great, the first few chapters just flow and each scene leads to the next. Unfortunately, around mid-book the bubble bursts and I think…what now? Funny, but I might lie down and just think for an hour or two, or I go for a long walk and come up with an answer, or the answer comes to me while I’m in the shower. It’s there—somewhere—and may take a few days to reveal itself.

There are mental exercises that many writers succumb to. Like asking yourself questions and writing them down. Somehow you must find a breakthrough and that means getting rid of self-doubt! That is a general cause for the blockage and might be the hardest opponent to overcome. But remember why you chose this career and that you became a writer because inside that brilliant head of yours you are a writer.

Please check out some of my books for yourselves on my Amazon Author Page or my website. I have written around forty books: romance, comedy, suspense and now mysteries. And I still get blocked!