These days it seems we’re busier than ever. I don’t know about you, but as soon as I wake up I have things to do. There’s running the household to running a business while trying to find time for exercise and writing. Many times, I’ll think about what I can do for a friend or a family member without actually doing it. However, thinking is not the same as doing, and while you can tell someone you love them or were thinking about them, they’ll feel like they really mattered to you if you do something to show them. It’s the same concept of “Show, don’t tell” in writing.
Here are seven simple ways you can show someone they matter to you.
- Call them or drop by for a visit. Your most valuable possession is your time. Calling a friend or a relative to wish them a happy birthday or taking them out for lunch shows you value being with them. It’s not just the “thought” that counts, but your presence.
- Invite them to an outing. It could be a walk in the park, or a trip to Chinatown to pick up spices, or the neighborhood repertory theater, or a church activity, or a meet-an-author book-signing. Experiencing something new together is a great way to discover more about another person.
- Cook a meal together. One of the funnest activities I did with a friend back in college days was to shop and try out a new recipe every Friday evening. We both learned how to cook and endured burned dishes and lots of laughs. Two cooks are always more fun than one.
- Offer to babysit or do a household/yard chore. Lending a helping hand is a great way to show someone you value them. Maybe they’re new parents or bought a fixer-upper. Many hands truly make short and cheerful work.
- Listen while they speak and draw out the silent ones. Being interested in a person shows them they matter. Listening carefully and drawing them out shows that you respect their ideas and thoughts.
- Give up your seat on the bus or your place in line. Putting another person ahead of you shows them they matter to you. You’ll likely be rewarded with a smile and friendly words, and even if it’s only a grunt, you gave someone else first place for that short moment.
- Respect their opinions and wishes. Everyone has their opinion and wishes, whether you agree with them or not. Respecting another person’s thoughts and feelings shows how you esteem them as an individual with their own agency.
What are some of the ways you show someone they matter? Enter them in the comments.
One of the best ways to tell an author she matters is to email her your thoughts about her book and/or write a review. It shows that her story or nonfiction made a difference in your life, and that’s ultimately what we’re here for–touching other lives and making a positive difference in the world.
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Rachelle Ayala is a USA Today bestselling author of contemporary romance and romantic suspense. Her foremost goal is to take readers on a shared emotional journey with her characters as they grow and become more true to themselves. Rachelle believes in the power of love to overcome obstacles and feels that everyone should find love as often as possible, especially if it’s within the pages of a book.
Her book, Knowing Vera, won the 2015 Angie Ovation Award, A Father for Christmas garnered a 2015 Readers’ Favorite Gold Award, Christmas Stray received a 2016 Readers’ Favorite Gold Award, and Playing for the Save got the 2017 Readers’ Favorite Gold Award in Realistic Fiction.
She is also a writing teacher and founder of the Romance In A Month writing community. She lives in California with her husband and has three children and two birds.
