Howdy, everyone! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while, but I’m working on several projects at a time. I must say, building a multilingual career as an author is unexpectedly exhausting, and the rewards are slow to come, especially during these times.
As always, reading is what helps me stay sane, and last night I got the idea for this post while I was re-reading Nora Roberts’s “Angels Fall”, a book I particularly enjoy. The excerpt I’ll reveal below made me laugh out loud, as it does every time. The story’s main characters are Reece – a troubled woman who’s trying to escape some deep traumas, and Brody – a man who’s apparently an unfeeling jerk, but who develops a soft spot for the heroine in which many women will find themselves.
Unlike the typical, syrupy love stories, their romance is more interesting and unusual. So, without further ado, here is my Top Three Funniest Love Declarations in Books:
#3 is a scene from the very Queen of Comedy, Janet Evanovich and her well-known screw-up heroine, Stephanie Plum, forever torn between the love of two men, Ranger and Joe Morelli:
“How could you be tired? It’s eight o’clock. It’s time to get up! I’m leaving. Don’t you want to kiss me good-bye?”
Nothing. No answer. I whipped the sheet off him and left him lying there in all his glorious nakedness. Morelli still didn’t move.
I sat on the bed next to him. “Joe?”
“I thought you were going to work.”
“You’re looking very sexy . . . except for Mr. Happy, who seems to be sleepy.”
“He’s not sleepy, Steph. He’s in a coma. You woke him up every two hours and now he’s dead.”
“Okay, not dead, but he’s not going to be up and dancing anytime soon. You might as well go to work. Did you walk Bob?”
“I walked Bob. I fed Bob. I cleaned the living room and the kitchen.”
“Love you,” Morelli said from under the pillow.
“I l-l-l-like you, too.” Shit.
~Eleven On Top, JANET EVANOVICH
#2 presents Claire and Jamie Fraser, the famous characters from “OUTLANDER”, the equally famous odyssey written by Diana Gabaldon, which has inspired Starz to create the TV series with the same name. This is when Claire first declares her love to her new husband:
“Oh, Jamie, I do love you!”
This time it was his turn to laugh. He doubled over, then sat down at the roadside, fizzing with mirth. He slowly fell over backward and lay in the long grass, wheezing and choking.
“What on earth is the matter with you?” I demanded, staring at him. At long last, he sat up, wiping his streaming eyes. He shook his head, gasping.
“Murtagh was right about women. Sassenach, I risked my life for ye, committing theft, arson, assault, and murder into the bargain. In return for which ye call me names, insult my manhood, kick me in the ballocks and claw my face. Then I beat you half to death and tell ye all the most humiliating things have ever happened to me, and you say ye love me.” He laid his head on his knees and laughed some more. Finally he rose and held out a hand to me, wiping his eyes with the other.
“You’re not verra sensible, Sassenach, but I like ye fine. Let’s go.”
~Outlander, DIANA GABALDON~
#1, the excerpt that has started this post, and one of the many reasons I love Nora Roberts’s books, full of edgy humor, among other things:
“I love you. I’m in love with you.”
She heard absolutely nothing for ten full seconds. And when he did speak, she caught the faintest trace of fear mixed in with the annoyance.
“Hell. No good deed goes unpunished.”
She laughed, rich and full and long. And the warmth of it soothed her raw throat, her raw nerves. “And that’s why, I must be out of my mind. Don’t worry about it, Brody.”
~Angels Fall, NORA ROBERTS~
And speaking of romance and fun, do check The Authors’ Billboard new release, Summer Shorts!
From sweet to spicy, and contemporary to suspenseful, these sixteen Summer Short Stories will be sure to heat up your heart and help you escape reality in a blaze of fun, drama, and romance.
Sixteen NY Times & USA Today popular authors have put together these delightful novellas to give you that spurt of entertainment you can often finish in one sitting. These Summertime stories will delight the romance lover until the sun sets in a blaze of glory.
I hope you enjoyed this post, and if it put a smile on your face, as it was intended, feel free to share the fun! And don’t forget to enter our monthly home page contest!
Melinda De Ross is the first Romanian to become a USA Today bestselling author. A prolific writer, she weaves humorous romance and tension-filled thrillers with the same enthusiasm. Her books combine the elegance of European literature with the modern appeal of American culture. While she’s a law graduate and professional target shooter, she prefers to spend her days spinning tales for her readers. In her downtime, she’d rather read or watch a classic movie than go to a noisy club. She loves to hear from readers, so if you have a question or want to learn more about her books, visit her website: MelindaDeRoss.com