I’d like for this very personal blog to offer hope and encouragement.
In December 2012, my marriage of 25 years ended. There was no discussion, there was no reasoning…and no way there could be a reconciliation. I worked at Starbucks at the time for medical insurance for our family, part-time allowed full benefits. I was told by my ex that he didn’t want the marriage, or the dogs, or the cat, the house, or any responsibilities. I didn’t have (and still don’t) a college education or a career. I was a writer trying to create a career. To have the net yanked away?
I was terrified to say the least. With the help of friends—thank heaven for friends—I left, with the dogs. I had no idea what I was doing but I refused to be a victim. My pride stung…yes, our marriage had ups and downs, but I thought we would make it. I thought we would be the lucky ones to be surrounded by our kids and grandkids.
I am surprised by the tightening in my heart as I write this seven years later…but this is what is most important—here is what I’d love for you to take away. I didn’t allow my circumstances to keep me in that awful place of being discarded, unwanted, and betrayed. That place sucked 🙂
I could not fix what had happened; I could only move forward. And who was I? I was no longer a wife. I was still a mom but our kids were grown. They didn’t need me. I had to take stock of my life. What did I have?
My mother—biggest ally. Amazing friends, definitely. My stories, yes. I couldn’t give them up. But I didn’t have a house. A husband. Children at home.
There was something very freeing in getting a furnished apartment by the beach. Taking care of myself and figuring out who I was. My dogs were great companions. I had never in my life lived alone. The beach saved my sanity. I’d walk, and cry, and dream—I was determined to figure out a way to succeed. Though it was very hard, I tried to be fair, to be open, to not be afraid. I wrote a list of what was important to me as a human being. Love, family, friends…I would write. Because of the indie publishing market at the time, in order to make a living, that meant writing romance. I poured a lot of angst into those stories of women healing by the sea, and it helped me heal too. Believing in happily ever after allowed me to be open to love when it came unexpectedly into my life…giving me a partner in all ways.
In December 2013, my divorce was final. I’d visualized writing success, and steps to get there. I had my goals all around the apartment. Every day I made an effort to move forward—with open-ended expectations for what might come. When we “need” something, we chase it away…when we “choose” something, in joy, in love, we create more joy and love.
Now, December 2019…I have hit the USA Today list three times with my ladies at Authors’ Billboard. I have multiple writing contracts for both romance and mystery. Between writing and editing, I can pay the bills…doing something I love. I am not going to lie, there have been plenty of peanut butter sandwiches, lol—but there has also been champagne. Keep dreaming!
PS Speaking of Authors’ Billboard—be sure to enter the December contest!! We are having a party on December 10th and 11th on Facebook—we would love to see you there! You know we are all about amazing romances for a steal, but we like to give away prizes too 🙂
With an impressive bibliography in an array of genres, USA Today bestselling author Traci Hall has garnered a notable fan base. She pens stories guaranteed to touch the heart while transporting the reader to another time and place. Her belief in happily ever after shines through, whether it’s a romantic glimpse into history or a love affair for today.