Ah, February! #mgtab

February is a cruel month, and I won’t be sad to see it go. Hints of warm blue sky and balmy breezes whisper that spring’s just around the corner—then Slam! Arctic gales, dumps and dumps of snow, the heart of winter—Sploosh, slog, sleet and slop—buckets of rain that turn everything to slush again—repeat, repeat, repeat.

It’s a hard month to get out of bed in the morning during, let alone be cheery in—so much gray, so much cold, no festive events to look forward to except Valentine’s Day (which would be much more romantic if it were a civic holiday, LOL).

Yesterday, I admit the month tricked me. I saw the brilliant sun outside my window and recalled the lovely mild temperature of the previous day and headed out in flats without socks to rush the kids to school and get to an appointment. Imagine my poor feet’s surprise when they realized six inches or more of snow had fallen in the night!

The day only got better from there. As I was frantically clearing the car, having not allowed time in my schedule for doing so, my daughter, already feeling miserably sick, slipped on ice. Then she spilled tea across her lap just as we were pulling out of the driveway and had to go back to the house and change.

I followed her inside so I could call my appointment, tell them I was running late—and stepped in my dogs’ full water dish, tipping it over with a crashing splash. The dogs and cat, all convinced the noise was somehow connected to the beginning of a canine/feline apocalypse, took off in separate directions to the four corners of the house.

I tried to cajole the smallest dog—a Pomeranian I dog-sit regularly—back to the dog room. The blond beast took, “Heeeeeere Foxy, heeeere Foxy,” (or some such call) to mean: “Run, run! Go through her legs, jump up on the couch!”

As I lunged to grab the creature, apparently I frightened it again—or rather, scared the crap out of it.  Literally.

There’s nothing like cleaning up dog doo—no matter how little and deer-like the pellets—when you’re already late.

Back in the car, pulling out of the driveway, Take 2, I turned on the stereo—AND WAS HIT BY A HORRIFIC NOISE SO LOUD I ALMOST COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS. I slammed the off button as fast as I could, heart and ears bleeding. No one should have to listen to Kesha at the best of times. They should definitely not have to listen to her blasting, “D.I.N.O.YOU ARE a dinosaur,” at sonic-boom decibels before 9:00 in the morning.  At least my kids were cheered up by my trauma. They even laughed.

Not long after that I made the mistake of telling the kids the superstition that bad things happen in threes so we should be home free for the rest of the day. And in quick succession I: was stopped by the train, lost my keys in the office where I finally had my meeting (after going to the completely wrong building), and got my son to school almost a full-hour late.

Some of you are thinking it’s ridiculous to blame a month, especially a tiny, pathetic, no statutory holiday one, for my bad day—but others of you are wiser. You know full well that February is shorter than other months so that we have a better chance of surviving it. You know that bad days can hit anytime, but in February they are worse.

The end of the day came, finally, and the sky held no trace of the day’s foulness.  It was soft and inky black and clear.  The moon, full and round and benevolent, was a bright glowy white; the sympathetic shadows on its face clearly visible.  Saying so is a cliché, perhaps, but it was breathtaking. I’m sure it was the evening’s way of celebrating with me: Ah, February. One night closer to done for another full year!

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“Ah, February” was originally published in the Terrace Standard, February 2011, so it’s a little outdated now . . . but only regarding the age of my children and the number of dogs and cats in my house at any given time. The bad luck that seems to abound in the bleak of February, my general malaise, and my extreme eagerness for us to get into March continues!

In fact, there is only one thing February really has going for it . . . but it’s a fabulous thing: February is the perfect month for guilt-free burrowing on your couch with a blanket and a book! So on that note, see you in March and until then . . . very happy reading!

? Ev

P.S. If you’re looking for a cozy escape, I’d be honored if you “book” your getaway with me. River’s Sigh B & B Vol. 1 -4 is on sale for just .99 for the month of February only! (So I guess I accidentally lied. There are TWO fabulous things in February, LOL.)

Amazon.com – Amazon.ca – Amazon.co.ukAmazon.com.au

Kobo US – Kobo CA iBooks Google Play – Nook

P.P.S. I actually think Kesha’s song “Dinosaur” is awesome.

P.P.P.S. I’m really going to stop blabbing soon. I promise! I just wanted to remind you to make sure you enter our Authors Billboard February contest for a chance to win gift cards, print books, or free eBooks! To find out more details on this month’s contest, click here! https://authorsbillboard.com/

 

Ev Bishop

About Ev Bishop

Ev Bishop lives and writes in a remote small town in wildly beautiful British Columbia, Canada—a place that inspires the setting for her cozy sweet romance series, RIVER’S SIGH B & B. In addition to writing novels—her favorite form of storytelling!—Ev was a long-time columnist with the Terrace Standard and is a prolific scribbler of articles, essays, short stories and poems. To see her ever growing body of work, please visit her website. When Ev’s nose isn’t in a book or her fingers aren’t on her keyboard, you’ll find her hanging out with her family and dogs, or playing outside with friends, usually at the lake or in some garden somewhere.

6 Replies to “Ah, February! #mgtab”

  1. You’re hilarious! I can just see you chasing that little pom around the house while pulling your hair out by the roots 🙂
    On the upside, we now have a February holiday- Family Day, so yay for that!

    • LOL, thanks, Jacquie. It was funny–once I was looking back with a glass of wine! 😉 And you’re totally right! How could I forget Family Day?! It is a lovely stat. <3

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